Sorry for such the long delay.

So much has happened over the course of the last month or so.

The loss of Jmoe a dear friend.

The acquisition of a hot boyfriend.

The realization that yeah, Im old, but you know what?  I can learn and I can overcome.

The last few weeks have been rough with the loss of Jmoe.  Thankfully Jacob was there to comfort and be by my side, as well as many many good friends.  Its odd that just as your coming to terms with the situation we have his memorial.  Beautiful as it was and I was doing good, his friends did a video montage and they used a recording of a voice mail Jmoe left.  That did it.  His voice was the send off to a severe flood.

I guess deep down in my heart there was plausible deniability.  I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen, its just a mistake, it wasn’t him.  Then I get there, and it was him, I cant deny it, I cant make it wish away.  In the back of my head I hear him tell me its okay, he’s okay and he’ll be fine.  I still struggle with it and think I will for some time.  I just miss my friend.

Then there’s Jacob.  Poor kid barely dating me two weeks and all hell breaks loose.  Im the strong one dammit Im not to be seen in tears.  He’s quite the trooper and I appreciate it more than he can possibly know.

So Jacob is the B/F for those of you that aren’t really following along.  He’s an adorable kid and my feelings for him continue to grow.  We’ll have our patch’s here and there but what fun is life without a few dips in the road?

I have my tickets and my trip is set to go home and see my Mom.  Its been a year and its long over due.  Its funny though as excited as I am, how much I feel bad about leaving Meghan and Paige and Jacob.  Thank god I have a good cell plan!

Paiges Halloween costume was incredible if you know me on flickr just look it up there or on Facebook.

Hugz all around and thank you all for your support.

 

Mike had a great quote today that I had to share:

The thing that a lot of people cannot comprehend is that Mother Nature doesn’t have a bullet with your name on it,
she has millions of bullets inscribed with ‘to whom it may concern’

Thanks Mike for the great quote!

 

Thank you Lorretta for making me laugh harder than I have in ages!!!

 

Really?

Its another day.

I labor daily, so what makes this any different to me?

It doesn’t.

I am sure there is some significance out there somewhere but do I feel the motivation to find it?  Nope.

Instead I sit at my job, doing what I do.  Whee…

Looking around I see less than 1/2 staffing.  1/2 staffing for a majority of my floor and yet I’ll be here the whole day.  Already people are vying for when they can leave.  Seriously people, you’ve got a job.  Be thankful.  If you want to stay home so fucking badly quit.  Then you can stay home all day every day.

<Sigh>

Maybe I’ll write more later if I am so inspired.

 

OK so this made me smile this morning.  Hope it does the same for you!

 

From Laurell K. Hamilton’s – “A Stroke of Midnight”

Sometimes you just need to be touched.  Sometimes you see such hurt; such loneliness in another one’s eyes that you must do something, anything to chase that look away.  Sometimes sex isn’t even about sex among us.  Sometimes it is just the last resort for making someone smile.

Im sure I got part of that wrong but the basics is there.  I so love that statement.

 

This is so how I feel about Mondays!

Special thanks to DERP.COM for making me smile.  Show your support and visit them!

 

Tuesday.

Just another day in a line of seven, yet for some reason this one seems different.

Actually had a nice lunch with a friend, although I dont think either of us enjoyed the food completely.

Out of sheer boredom have decided to try Match.com, figured I dont do the bars anymore somethings got to change.

Im on Bear411, Bearciti, Bearwww, Bearforest and none of them really have found me much other than the few dear friends I have.

I want more, and more does not come without risk.  So here’s to hoping its worth it.

 

Well here it is another year has come and gone, and I’ve managed to age once again.

BLEH

37…

12 years past gay death in the community… LOL

I bark about getting older quite a bit but in all honesty it doesn’t really make that much of a difference to me anymore.

I find it rather interesting though listening to those around me in their early 20′s bitch about being so old.  All I can do anymore is chuckle to myself, shake my head, and keep the comments to a minimum.

20′s never bothered me.  30 didnt bother me.  31 bothered me, mainly cause that back then was the cut off.  All the magazines and surveys where 15 -17, 18-20, 21-25, 26-30, and 31 and up.  Its the and up thats annoying.

So I guess I add another year to my and up status.  Wheee…

Anyone wanna come blow out my candle?

 

Really…What is the deal with Mondays?

Nothing works, ever notice that?

<Sigh> Some people around here are in for so much hell when my mood elevators wear off, lol <Karen Walker you are my hero>

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