OK this made me laugh out loud! I mean yeah for her and all but DAYUM!
Jul 062010
Jul 042010
Well for me the 4th has always been a sign that my b-day is near and that another year in my life is coming to a close. A lot has happened this year and quite a few of my goals have remained unmet, either due to circumstance or just the inability to make it happen.
I’ve tried to live my life by a simple set of rules of living by no regrets:
To regret is to regress,
To regress is to lose progress,
To lose progress is to grow stale,
And to grow stale is to die.
I’ve managed for a long time to resolve my regrets, and up until this year I had actually managed to foster none. Then things happened that I couldn’t master or change which left me with an ache I couldnt place.
I have regrets. Fuck I never have regrets. What the hell is wrong with me?
Regrets make for a big nasty circle of self doubt and complications. Easier to deal with the issues and move on and here I am with a list of regrets smack dab in my face.
Can I change them? No.
What can I do? Live.
Its taken me almost 37 years to realize that even though the little saying works, it may not work for me. Granted one cannot dwell on regrets, but one can live through them. Its about to be a new year for me, another number tacked on to my age, and hopefully with this year things can or should I say things will change.
I spend each day trying to help others and keep the ‘smile’ on my face. I’ve said it before and I am going to say it again. I can’t smile all the time. Im tired of the facade that so many have gotten used to of the smiling bear. It reminds me too much of too many things. ‘Smile and the world smiles with you’. Really? When you sit back and think about it what are you smiling for idiot?
Don’t get me wrong I have many things to smile about, but lets be real, Im at a point in my life when I dont want to smile all the time. There are days that I just want to be me, and sometimes that me doesnt have a smile on his face. No Im not mad, Im not angry, Im just me, the bear without the smile. Dont read too much into it, cause you’d probably be wrong.
Contentment doesnt always constitute a smile.
Alright I’ve rambled enough for now. Funny, this was supposed to be a quick short post. <Shrug>
Happy 4th everyone. May you and yours be safe and have a good day.
May 112010
As many of you know this is my sounding board. More-so for myself than others, and its a way for me to vent out either frustrations or thoughts that come to me that I don’t feel I can just easily turn to my neighbor and ask.
With that being said many people have approached me after some of my posts asking if it was about them. I’m not a shy person when it comes to my feelings or thoughts and if ya bent me enough to post about it let me tell ya kiddo it would have your name on it. Forgive and forget is great for some, but for me its remember and revisit. Do I dwell on it? No, but I will eventually throw it back atcha at sometime or another when it suits me.
Moving on.
I’ve posted to a position that would take me away from Oregon. Good idea? I dont know, I wont know till I try it. I love my home in Oregon but sometimes we have to take chances to progress our lives forward. I love my job and what I do but I need to take that next step. I need to know that I’ve continued to reach and attempt to grow rather than find contentment in my current situation.
Dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being content in your situation, just for me I want more. I want the next step, and if I have to move to get it, well so be it.
Alright I’ve blabbered long enough, here’s to ya. Oh yeah and please dont be shy click the ads, believe it or not I get paid for it 
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Take care.
